Thursday, September 22, 2016

From iPhone 7 Sales to Kmart Bankruptcies: Your Weekly Briefing

This week was full of news, both political and social.  Find out below which candidates were endorsed, what's the deal with the new iPhone 7, and which former Presidential candidate is making headlines.

Trump: Moving up in the polls or up on the scale?
According to a new polling odds, Donald Trump has a 1 in 3 chance of winning the election and becoming the next President.  Although, according to other odds, there is a 1 in 3 chance you will make it to your 100th birthday, a 1 in 3 chance of getting hacked, and a 1 in 3 chance that you are considered obese.  Well at least we know one of those statistics is true...

Photo Drawn From: Inside Edition

Bush: Like father like son...
Daughter of Robert Kennedy, Kathleen Kennedy Townsend, sat down with Former President George H.W. Bush for an interview regarding the state of the 2016 Presidential Race.  She later posted on Facebook that the Former President will be voting for Democratic Candidate Hillary Clinton rather than Republican Candidate Donald Trump.  This isn't the first time that George H.W. will be voting for someone only campaigning with their first name.

Photo Drawn From: Jimmy Kimmel Live

iPhone 7: Making Hissssss-tory
After only a week on the market, Apple has officially sold out of their iPhone 7 jet black phones.  While initial reactions to the release were skeptical because of the vast changes to the product, sales exceeded expectations.  Unfortunately the phone is beginning to receive negative feedback as consumers are reporting a hissing sound coming from their phone when the battery becomes "overwhelmed."  Well we know the noise isn't coming from the headphone jack.

Photo Drawn From: PhoneBuff

Closings: Are you Sears-ious?
Sears Holdings just announced that they will be closing another 64 Kmart stores and 17 Sears stores across 28 states, in turn laying off thousands of employees.  These franchises simply cannot afford these locations with underperforming profit margins and major decreases in shoppers over the past couple of years.  Competitors such as Target and Walmart were the two main discount retailers that put Kmart out of business, of as they call it, K-thx-byeeeeeee-mart.

Photo Drawn From: KSNT News

Refugees: Add that to the list of things hated by Ted Cruz
President Barack Obama has announced that starting in 2017, the United States intends to increase the refugee resettlements.  This proposition was met with harsh criticism from Kansas and New Jersey, who immediately pulled out of the federally funded resettlement program.  Following suit, Senator Ted Cruz of Texas announced that Texas will be joining the two states, in an effort to favor national security over Syrian refugees escaping terrorist organizations.  Like we needed more reasons to hate Ted Cruz.

Photo Drawn From: CBSN

Charlotte: What a riot!
Yet another incidence of police brutality occurred in Charlotte, North Carolina in which a young black man was shot and killed.  Chaos arose amongst the Black Lives Matter Movement, in the city of Charlotte, after rumors circulated that the individual was not carrying a weapon.  Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Chief claimed that they received evidence of a man carrying a gun, although police only found a book on his person.  Who knew To Kill A Mockingbird was such a killer read?

Photo Drawn From: Fox News

2 comments:

  1. This post was really funny and informative at the same time. I'm amazed that you aren't running out of jokes after every news post. I think it is cool that you consistently have a punchline because readers will be waiting for it. The visuals add a lot as well. Good job!

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  2. I really enjoy reading this blog and your entertaining spin on current events. Would definetly read again!

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