From Syria to England: Your Weekly Briefing

The news this week has come from a wide range of topics, events, and stories.  Find out why oil prices look to be on the rise again, what new food product might be able to detect early stages of cancer, what country is making headlines for creating gender neutral job titles, and what company became subject to recent hackings.

Oil Prices Rising: Syria-sly?
Early reports Monday show that average American gas prices are on the rise, and don't plan on reversing anytime soon.  It has been reported that since President Trump ordered the strike of 59 Tomahawk missiles on Syria, oil prices have gone up 9 cents, up to $2.43 per gallon.  On top of that number, oil prices are currently up 33 cents from this same time last year.  Due to the recent antagonistic actions by the United States towards Syria, several Middle Eastern countries are retaliating with higher oil prices.  It is also reported that President Trump plans on lowering prices by establishing better relationships with Middle Eastern leaders, by taking them to Mar-a-lago.

Photo Drawn From: News Rep

Cancer Detector: Gum and get it!
According to cancer research centers, an Alabama company called Volatile Analysis is currently experimenting with gum to create a more efficient way to detect cancer.  Resulting from the research, Volatile Analysis is using gum to detect whether certain chemicals are present in volatiles, which are found in an individual's saliva.  President and CEO of Volatile Analysis Katherine Bazemore has described that they are using gum as the determinant because it remains in the mouth for extended periods of time and is durable enough to withstand testing.  It is also relayed that these sticks of gum could be a more accurate determinant of cancer than blood and urine tests.  Another bonus is that the gum is said to taste similar to typical candy flavors.  Well, I guess we'll find out if White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer is cancer free two times over, and by noon...

Photo Drawn From: Long Room

Removing Gender Stereotypes: Ban the word "man?"
A local governmental in Southern England has recently passed a motion to remove the word "man" from their position titles.  Councillor for Harlow District Council, Emma Toal, brought about the reform, in an attempt to start using gender neutral titles including chair-person instead of chair-man, and so on.  While England's Conservative Party fought against the reform, the motion was eventually passed and is being implemented immediately.  Aw man...I mean person!  Aw person!

Photo Drawn From: Independent

Amazon Third-Party Sellers: What the hack!
It has recently been announced that third-party Amazon sellers have been the most recent victims to foreign hacking.  Over the recent weeks, hackers have been able to manipulate cyber-credentials to post fake deals on their website and steal cash from customers.  More than a dozen third-party sellers have reported stolen sales of $15-100 thousand from hackers, and are demanding reimbursement from Amazon.  Although resulting from recent surveys, most Amazon customers couldn't care less as long as it doesn't affect their membership for Amazon Prime.  I guess this explains their new logo.

Photo Drawn From: Entrepreneur

From the MLB to D.C.: Your Weekly Briefing

This was definitely one of the slowest weeks of 2017 in regards to political news, but have no fear, several comical events transpired throughout the nation.  Find out who might be named the "worst shoplifter of all time," which baseball player had a really rough start to his season, and why another Clinton is making headlines.

Kohl's Theft: Arrest her/me...
Late Tuesday night, the police in the city of Kent, Ohio, received an interesting call while attending to a disturbance.  A 35-year old woman, identified as Joanne Havens, dialed 911 after getting locked into the local Kohl's department store.  Although, what the woman didn't initially tell the police was that she was shoplifting from the store.  According to video surveillance, Mrs. Havens was caught stealing various items, and hiding in the dressing room until employees locked up for the night.  Once she figured out that she was locked inside the department store, Mrs. Havens tried to play it off as if she was accidentally trapped in the store.  Ironically, the police were already on their way to the store, after the shoplifter triggered the invisible alarms.  Allegedly, Mrs. Havens is a huge fan of the clothing retailer, who's slogan is "Expect Great Things."  Following the incident, it was reported that The White House emailed this pitch to help revive the store's credibility.

Photo Drawn From: The Washington Post

St. Louis Cardinals Home Opening Series: What a hit!
This week the St. Louis Cardinals are hosting the 2016 World Series Champion Chicago Cubs for their home opening series.  While the Cardinals lost 2-1 to the Cubs on Tuesday night, the real headline is coming from Cardinals outfielder Stephen Piscotty.  In the bottom of the fifth inning, Piscotty was hit in the right elbow by a pitch, wailed in the left elbow while stealing second base, and nailed in the head while running home.  While he eventually scored the Cardinals only run of the game, social media went ballistic after this poor ballplayer took a beating all in one inning.  Rumors are circulating that Stephen Piscotty was then contacted by Pitbull, inquiring about his services, considering he hasn't had a hit in years.

Photo Drawn From: The Huffington Post

2020 Election: Trump vs...Clinton??
On Tuesday, Chelsea Clinton hinted at a potential Presidential run in 2020, after being asked who would best be suited to take down President Trump.  While the subject was obviously still a touchy subject for Mrs. Clinton, following the upset election, she stated that an acclaimed Democrat, far removed from current headlines, would be the best candidate.  Chelsea Clinton did state that she is not currently planning on running for office, although she didn't rule out the possibility to redeem the 2016 loss, and dethrone "The Donald."  Well, you all know the saying, if at first...your family loses the most embarrassing election of all time...try, try again!  But more importantly, who will Ivanka vote for?

Photo Drawn From: New York Magazine