Thursday, April 13, 2017

From Syria to England: Your Weekly Briefing

The news this week has come from a wide range of topics, events, and stories.  Find out why oil prices look to be on the rise again, what new food product might be able to detect early stages of cancer, what country is making headlines for creating gender neutral job titles, and what company became subject to recent hackings.

Oil Prices Rising: Syria-sly?
Early reports Monday show that average American gas prices are on the rise, and don't plan on reversing anytime soon.  It has been reported that since President Trump ordered the strike of 59 Tomahawk missiles on Syria, oil prices have gone up 9 cents, up to $2.43 per gallon.  On top of that number, oil prices are currently up 33 cents from this same time last year.  Due to the recent antagonistic actions by the United States towards Syria, several Middle Eastern countries are retaliating with higher oil prices.  It is also reported that President Trump plans on lowering prices by establishing better relationships with Middle Eastern leaders, by taking them to Mar-a-lago.

Photo Drawn From: News Rep

Cancer Detector: Gum and get it!
According to cancer research centers, an Alabama company called Volatile Analysis is currently experimenting with gum to create a more efficient way to detect cancer.  Resulting from the research, Volatile Analysis is using gum to detect whether certain chemicals are present in volatiles, which are found in an individual's saliva.  President and CEO of Volatile Analysis Katherine Bazemore has described that they are using gum as the determinant because it remains in the mouth for extended periods of time and is durable enough to withstand testing.  It is also relayed that these sticks of gum could be a more accurate determinant of cancer than blood and urine tests.  Another bonus is that the gum is said to taste similar to typical candy flavors.  Well, I guess we'll find out if White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer is cancer free two times over, and by noon...

Photo Drawn From: Long Room

Removing Gender Stereotypes: Ban the word "man?"
A local governmental in Southern England has recently passed a motion to remove the word "man" from their position titles.  Councillor for Harlow District Council, Emma Toal, brought about the reform, in an attempt to start using gender neutral titles including chair-person instead of chair-man, and so on.  While England's Conservative Party fought against the reform, the motion was eventually passed and is being implemented immediately.  Aw man...I mean person!  Aw person!

Photo Drawn From: Independent

Amazon Third-Party Sellers: What the hack!
It has recently been announced that third-party Amazon sellers have been the most recent victims to foreign hacking.  Over the recent weeks, hackers have been able to manipulate cyber-credentials to post fake deals on their website and steal cash from customers.  More than a dozen third-party sellers have reported stolen sales of $15-100 thousand from hackers, and are demanding reimbursement from Amazon.  Although resulting from recent surveys, most Amazon customers couldn't care less as long as it doesn't affect their membership for Amazon Prime.  I guess this explains their new logo.

Photo Drawn From: Entrepreneur

3 comments:

  1. It is with gentle sorrow that I must accept that this is the last of your passion blog posts I will ever read. As always, this was a very funny and well-written post John!

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  2. Don't stop writing this blog!!! Ever! I will greatly miss your puns and clever digs at all different people. Also - if you do continue to write even one single more post, please discuss how Spicer said Hitler never used chemical weapons. I'm thinking a cartoon where someone's head opens and there's nothing in there.

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  3. Oh geez, that Amazon logo is too funny. Another great post of breaking down difficult topics with wit and irony. Thanks for such an entertaining blog, John!

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